If You Post Another Top Ten Anything I’m Not Going Camping With You

Sigh. Another day researching blogs and social media marketing. I’ve witnessed dozens of thinly veiled attempts at click-bait and some really crappy affiliate marketing. The stupidity is close to critical. The sheer vandalism of the English language makes me want to cry. I will persevere.

My first hikes were in the 80s. I ran my first outdoor store 14 years ago and I’ve worked for a few brands. My view is an interesting niche. Let’s call it a boutique view.


Hikes for most of us in Gen X were more like just taking off into the bush with some drinks and nibbles. We hiked all day. We got lost and we got sunburned. We crashed through brambles. We made new paths. We had adventures.

Nowadays, the internet wants to make hiking and camping seem complicated and everyone wants to sell a gadget.

This is what you wear hiking. Bandana optional.

 Here’s seven types of stupid sites and blog posts that do my head in. 

Top 10 ESSENTIALS every camper needs!

Here’s where you’ll get the cute list of things like:

1. Sturdy shoes – I prefer my *insertaffiliatelinkhere* or my *stupidtoe shoes*, but you may prefer something *lesshardcorebutstillexpensive*

2. Walking Poles – *Insert link to cheap walking poles here*

3. How is a two-hundred dollar rooftop solar shower with 12v pump considered an ‘essential’?

A beginner’s guide to hiking

Many websites ask the question, ‘Consider how much time you have to go walking. Is it a few hours on a Wednesday? Or all day Sunday?’ Are we discussing hiking? Or how to tell the time? ‘Pick your hiking location’ they’ll sagely advise. Hiking and camping at the local shopping mall is pretty stupid.

A must have for every Camper!

Usually links to one of those magnetic claw things that picks up keys from behind your couch or home theatre. If you need one, I’m not going camping with you.

How to use ‘whatever it is’

They say ‘Don’t go straight out and hike 20 miles with walking poles, you are probably inexperienced and may hurt yourself’.  I can safely say 95% of the population break walking poles within a few minutes of picking them up. I wouldn’t worry about any injuries from actually walking anywhere with them.

How to camp with kids

Step 1. Take kids camping.
Step 2. Deal with it.
Seriously? Why do you even have kids if you need a checklist to go camping?

Top 5 survival kit items!

I’ve seen so many of these lists and seriously, some of them were missing a first aid kit! Most of them are just slick Amazon store lists anyway. They always have stupid stuff like heavy duty trash bags, super-duper iron-man gloves, cheap nasty torches, some water filtration tabs and a water bottle. How about a first aid kit, flint tool, knife and a water filter?

Sometimes people go out of their way to make hiking and camping look difficult. Camping isn’t hard.

We’re all busy right now so let’s cut the crap. Outdoorstype knows better.

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